Fresh Breath and Dry Armpits are Crucial, SOL#2
Frequently, I'm a 'hop out of bed and get this day going' kind of gal. Sometimes, I'm not. Today was that day. I stayed in bed and scrolled, trying to think of one thing on today's list that I felt like getting up for.
Here's an eviction notice for that feeling. I'm going to go brush my teeth, put on deodorant, and just get to it.
NON-COMPLIANCE NOTICE TO QUIT
ATTN: ___FEELINGS OF GLOOMINESS____, and all residents in possession:
The premises herein referred to is located at the Street Address of _Tracy's Mood_, City of __Tracy's Insides_,
County of __Tracy's Gumption___, State of ___Tracy's Mind__, Zip Code __12HvFn________.
In accordance with the lease agreement signed on __May 31__, 19_79____, and the laws in the State of ___Tracy's Mind_____ that WITHIN __0__ DAYS after service on you of this notice, you are hereby required to: CHEER THE F*@% UP
LEASE VIOLATION
______________________________________________________________________
(Violation Description and Instruction to Cure (if any))
*Lack of motivation to get out of bed
Such acts are in non-compliance with your lease agreement. You shall notify the landlord within the notice period that the violation has been cured or quit and deliver the possession of the premises.
YOU ARE FURTHER NOTIFIED THAT, the owner/landlord does hereby elect to declare that forfeiture of your lease or rental agreement under which you hold possession of the above described premises and if you fail to perform or otherwise comply, will institute legal proceedings to recover rent and possession of said premises which would result in a judgment against you including costs and necessary disbursements together with possible statutory damages as allowed by law for such unlawful detention.
CERTIFICATE OF SERVICE
I certify that on the _2nd_ day of __March__, 20_22 this notice was served to _TRACY BROSCH_ by: (check one)
☐ - Delivering it personally to the person in possession.
☐ - Delivering it on the premises to a member of his/her family or household or an employee of suitable age and discretion with a request that it be delivered to the person in possession.
☐ - First-class mail addressed to the person in possession.
☐ - Delivering it through this ridiculous blog message
Ha! Calvin and Hobbes used to serve an eviction notice. I am so intrigued on how you combined these thoughts. And a bit concerned that you have eviction notices on the brain. I hope everything is alright.
ReplyDelete"you are hereby required to: CHEER THE F*@% UP"
ReplyDeleteI loled at this! Had I had a drink in my mouth, I would have spit it out! Love this. Hope you have a good day!
Tracy--I am going to have to think of something a bit more clever for tomorrow. You've raised the bar, as usual.
ReplyDeleteTracy--I left the "unknown" comment. You know me and technology. ;)
ReplyDeleteThis is the first time I've ever seen an eviction notice in a multigenre and I fucking love it. Really well done! I plan to add this to my arsenal.
ReplyDelete